I love mountains. I love Himalayas.
Maybe a little more than a responsible Father/Husband/Son/Employee should.
I love mountains so much that I can spend a week alone, if given, in the mountains.
So much that I cry (sometimes just well up, other times an actual tear-drop) when I see a well captured picture or a video of the Himalayas.
So much that I sometimes wonder if I would have been a hermit/sadhu/sanyasi, would I be able to sustain myself in the Himalayas?
So much that I made hypothetical business plans, many times, to open a place in the hills which would let me stay there, and also sustain myself.
This is the story of how my love for the mountains translated to my meditation practice.
I don't need to describe Ladakh; almost everyone has seen Ladakh, virtually or otherwise.
Of course, those who have seen it in reality - they will tell you no HD-4K video can do justice to the real experience.
When I visited Ladakh in the Autumn of 2014, I felt something major shifted within me.
Of course the vast visuals, the clear air, the cool temperature and the feeling of being cut off-from the civilization and social constructs made an amazing sensual cocktail I could sip every moment I was physically present there.
Just being there in those barely inhabited valleys, shut me up inside: many a times I found myself lost for words, just because the thoughts had slowed down or almost dried up!
What yogis feel after saadhana, probably that's what I felt when I was there in the lap of those beautifully huge mountains.
And at that time, I didn't even know how to shut my eyes and sit for a few seconds in meditation.
Yet, it was the closest I had ever felt till then to the feeling of Nirvana.
Ever since that trip, I have always felt a major missing for Ladakh, and it remains on top of my redo-list!
The second such experience for me, which clearly made yet another tectonic shift within me, was the Churdhaar Trek in the Spring of 2018.
The Churdhaar peak in the Himalayan range (height of 12000 ft. from sea level) is accessible on foot, from a Village called 'Nohradhaar', which is about 3 hours drive from the town of Solan in Himachal Pradesh.
Churdhaar peak houses the temple of a local deity and Shiva. For a lot of people in that region, is a regular 1-day (up and down) pilgrimage.
There is a Shirgul Maharaj (Shiva) statue at the peak of Churdhaar.
Apart from the physically challenging route of 18 km one-way, the intoxicating and joy-giving aspects of climbing a mountain (through a jungle and some snow,) on foot amazed me every step of the way!
This was my first proper trek, and that one experience made me an ardent devotee for trekking (though I am yet to do much about it, apart from buying a 2020 calendar from India Hikes, and watching vlogs from Ronnie and Barty).
This experience again turned me upside down: how could I feel so free, so joyful, so ecstatic, without consuming any substance, just by taking my physical self to a mountain?
Oh how much I enjoyed the isolation, how much I enjoyed the lack of thoughts even though I had the full alertness of all five senses!
At that time, somehow, I had no issues inside myself: no problems to solve, no tangled web of thoughts or emotions to sort through, nothing to de-clutter.
On the Churdhaar peak, I had tears in my eyes. I was deeply moved: I was so ecstatic and joyful that for a moment, I got scared, and I actually made myself sit.
I remember the feeling I had at that time: I thought if I kept standing, either I would fly-off, or I would fall off the peak.
There was enough space to stand safely on the peak, next to the Shiva statue: so I am sure the scary feeling that I would fall off wasn't due to the physical space constraints- it was something inexplicable.
It was the closest I had ever felt till then to the feeling of Nirvana; I got reminded of Ladakh but this was even better!
It was no surprise to me that there were many folk tales of many of Shiva's enlightened devotees and Shiva himself spending time on this peak at one time or other in the past: the spot was surely meant to be a place for Gods and Enlightened Saints. I felt so blessed to be there!
When I came back home, I couldn't steer away from the urge to experience that feeling again and again.
Of course I couldn't go for a trek every-time I wanted, I had other equally important aspects to take care of: Family, Job, Finances.
But I became greedy: I wanted the same experience at home as well, I wanted to feel the same way wherever I was.
And it was very clear to me that if I could manage to experience even 1% of what I felt in the mountains, it would be a battle won!
This was the time a meditation app was marketed in our office, as a part of Emotional well-being for the employees.
I had seen my parents practice meditation after their everyday prayers since I was a child, but I wasn't the religious type.
So I tried some guided meditations using an app, and some on YouTube, which did the wonderful job of giving me practice to sit silently for some time.
But they were more about training my mind to step back from thoughts (which is great in itself), not giving any joyful feelings or experience.
I did get some peace of mind and some understanding of how my thoughts work, but wasn't even near to feeling any joy!
It took me some time to decode what was happening within me when I was in Ladakh and at Churdhaar Peak:
My brain felt so relaxed, just because it was not running backward or forward like it usually does.
(That is probably similar to what happens inside us if we take an intoxicant: our brain slows down a little and we feel relaxed.)
But at the same time, my five senses were fully alert: I could enjoy what I was seeing and feeling, to the fullest!
And of course there was some X factor, which I can't even explain in words.
And this X factor was the main difference between the mountains and those guided meditations: I was at peace after doing the meditation, but still looking for that 'joy'. I was looking for Intoxication also, not just mindful awareness.
So when I searched YouTube "Intoxication + Awareness" I found one of Sadhguru's video - Amazing marketing and SEO I must say! :D :D
I watched a lot of his videos and got to know about Inner Engineering program from Isha Foundation.
It had already been more than 6 months that I was doing the guided meditations using various apps, so I thought let's try "Kriya Yoga" as taught by Isha Foundation for next 6 months.
No harm trying something different, I thought.
Today, it's almost 6 months since I started doing "Shambhavi Mahamudra" practice, which is a form of "Kriya Yoga" offered by Isha Foundation.
I'm at 1%. (though not sure, it could be 0.1 %. I am pretty sure this is bigger than I can ever imagine.)
This journey from 0% to 0.1% is the difference between just peace, and peace+joy.
The difference between just awareness, and awareness+intoxication.
Everyday, after the practice, there is a definite smile inside, and most of the times, outside as well.
Sometimes during the day as well, there is a sense of happiness, and I can't pin down on why that is.
This gentle smile doesn't come from any thought/sensation - it seems to be that 'X' factor, and I can't explain it in words.
Of course there are times when I get lost and confused and cluttered: that's why it's just 0.1% as of now.
"Kriya Yoga" is much more than simple meditation, it actually uses breath, some chanting of OM and our body posture much more specifically.
But in layman terms, it can be termed as a meditation practice.
I sometimes get reminded of a similar Kriya Yoga practice (Sudarshan Kriya) taught by "The Art of Living Foundation", which I learnt in my early college days.
That practice was very similar to what I do now, but I never practiced it after attending the program from "Art of Living" and soon forgot it.
Watching my parents practice meditation everyday may have also been a big sub-conscious catalyst in my openness to trying it myself.
But I am sure I was meant to first fall in love with the Mountains (in general,) and the Himalayas (in particular).
I still love the Himalayas and Mountains deeply.
But now I'm sure the answer is not in the mountains, or any other place/person/thing - the answers are all within ourselves.
Namaskaram!
I love mountains so much that I can spend a week alone, if given, in the mountains.
So much that I cry (sometimes just well up, other times an actual tear-drop) when I see a well captured picture or a video of the Himalayas.
So much that I sometimes wonder if I would have been a hermit/sadhu/sanyasi, would I be able to sustain myself in the Himalayas?
So much that I made hypothetical business plans, many times, to open a place in the hills which would let me stay there, and also sustain myself.
This is the story of how my love for the mountains translated to my meditation practice.
I don't need to describe Ladakh; almost everyone has seen Ladakh, virtually or otherwise.
Of course, those who have seen it in reality - they will tell you no HD-4K video can do justice to the real experience.
When I visited Ladakh in the Autumn of 2014, I felt something major shifted within me.
Of course the vast visuals, the clear air, the cool temperature and the feeling of being cut off-from the civilization and social constructs made an amazing sensual cocktail I could sip every moment I was physically present there.
Just being there in those barely inhabited valleys, shut me up inside: many a times I found myself lost for words, just because the thoughts had slowed down or almost dried up!
What yogis feel after saadhana, probably that's what I felt when I was there in the lap of those beautifully huge mountains.
And at that time, I didn't even know how to shut my eyes and sit for a few seconds in meditation.
Yet, it was the closest I had ever felt till then to the feeling of Nirvana.
Ever since that trip, I have always felt a major missing for Ladakh, and it remains on top of my redo-list!
The second such experience for me, which clearly made yet another tectonic shift within me, was the Churdhaar Trek in the Spring of 2018.
The Churdhaar peak in the Himalayan range (height of 12000 ft. from sea level) is accessible on foot, from a Village called 'Nohradhaar', which is about 3 hours drive from the town of Solan in Himachal Pradesh.
Churdhaar peak houses the temple of a local deity and Shiva. For a lot of people in that region, is a regular 1-day (up and down) pilgrimage.
There is a Shirgul Maharaj (Shiva) statue at the peak of Churdhaar.
Apart from the physically challenging route of 18 km one-way, the intoxicating and joy-giving aspects of climbing a mountain (through a jungle and some snow,) on foot amazed me every step of the way!
This was my first proper trek, and that one experience made me an ardent devotee for trekking (though I am yet to do much about it, apart from buying a 2020 calendar from India Hikes, and watching vlogs from Ronnie and Barty).
This experience again turned me upside down: how could I feel so free, so joyful, so ecstatic, without consuming any substance, just by taking my physical self to a mountain?
Oh how much I enjoyed the isolation, how much I enjoyed the lack of thoughts even though I had the full alertness of all five senses!
At that time, somehow, I had no issues inside myself: no problems to solve, no tangled web of thoughts or emotions to sort through, nothing to de-clutter.
On the Churdhaar peak, I had tears in my eyes. I was deeply moved: I was so ecstatic and joyful that for a moment, I got scared, and I actually made myself sit.
I remember the feeling I had at that time: I thought if I kept standing, either I would fly-off, or I would fall off the peak.There was enough space to stand safely on the peak, next to the Shiva statue: so I am sure the scary feeling that I would fall off wasn't due to the physical space constraints- it was something inexplicable.
It was the closest I had ever felt till then to the feeling of Nirvana; I got reminded of Ladakh but this was even better!
It was no surprise to me that there were many folk tales of many of Shiva's enlightened devotees and Shiva himself spending time on this peak at one time or other in the past: the spot was surely meant to be a place for Gods and Enlightened Saints. I felt so blessed to be there!
When I came back home, I couldn't steer away from the urge to experience that feeling again and again.
Of course I couldn't go for a trek every-time I wanted, I had other equally important aspects to take care of: Family, Job, Finances.
But I became greedy: I wanted the same experience at home as well, I wanted to feel the same way wherever I was.
And it was very clear to me that if I could manage to experience even 1% of what I felt in the mountains, it would be a battle won!
This was the time a meditation app was marketed in our office, as a part of Emotional well-being for the employees.
I had seen my parents practice meditation after their everyday prayers since I was a child, but I wasn't the religious type.
So I tried some guided meditations using an app, and some on YouTube, which did the wonderful job of giving me practice to sit silently for some time.
But they were more about training my mind to step back from thoughts (which is great in itself), not giving any joyful feelings or experience.
I did get some peace of mind and some understanding of how my thoughts work, but wasn't even near to feeling any joy!
It took me some time to decode what was happening within me when I was in Ladakh and at Churdhaar Peak:
My brain felt so relaxed, just because it was not running backward or forward like it usually does.
(That is probably similar to what happens inside us if we take an intoxicant: our brain slows down a little and we feel relaxed.)
But at the same time, my five senses were fully alert: I could enjoy what I was seeing and feeling, to the fullest!
And of course there was some X factor, which I can't even explain in words.
And this X factor was the main difference between the mountains and those guided meditations: I was at peace after doing the meditation, but still looking for that 'joy'. I was looking for Intoxication also, not just mindful awareness.
So when I searched YouTube "Intoxication + Awareness" I found one of Sadhguru's video - Amazing marketing and SEO I must say! :D :D
I watched a lot of his videos and got to know about Inner Engineering program from Isha Foundation.
It had already been more than 6 months that I was doing the guided meditations using various apps, so I thought let's try "Kriya Yoga" as taught by Isha Foundation for next 6 months.
No harm trying something different, I thought.
Today, it's almost 6 months since I started doing "Shambhavi Mahamudra" practice, which is a form of "Kriya Yoga" offered by Isha Foundation.
I'm at 1%. (though not sure, it could be 0.1 %. I am pretty sure this is bigger than I can ever imagine.)
This journey from 0% to 0.1% is the difference between just peace, and peace+joy.
The difference between just awareness, and awareness+intoxication.
Everyday, after the practice, there is a definite smile inside, and most of the times, outside as well.
Sometimes during the day as well, there is a sense of happiness, and I can't pin down on why that is.
This gentle smile doesn't come from any thought/sensation - it seems to be that 'X' factor, and I can't explain it in words.
Of course there are times when I get lost and confused and cluttered: that's why it's just 0.1% as of now.
"Kriya Yoga" is much more than simple meditation, it actually uses breath, some chanting of OM and our body posture much more specifically.
But in layman terms, it can be termed as a meditation practice.
I sometimes get reminded of a similar Kriya Yoga practice (Sudarshan Kriya) taught by "The Art of Living Foundation", which I learnt in my early college days.
That practice was very similar to what I do now, but I never practiced it after attending the program from "Art of Living" and soon forgot it.
Watching my parents practice meditation everyday may have also been a big sub-conscious catalyst in my openness to trying it myself.
But I am sure I was meant to first fall in love with the Mountains (in general,) and the Himalayas (in particular).
I still love the Himalayas and Mountains deeply.
But now I'm sure the answer is not in the mountains, or any other place/person/thing - the answers are all within ourselves.
Namaskaram!
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