MAKE THEM. AND THEN, BREAK THEM

I believe, as I’m sure many of us do, that the last two years of school and the first two years of college are a beautiful time of our lives. Kind of game-changers – especially for us Indians. I can't be too sure about the rest of the world.
Never been there yet. :p

And apart from other distinct features of this period of life, there's one very interesting aspect: and that will be the theme of this piece, which is primarily addressed to people of that particular age.

It's the time of our lives when our friends and, more often than not, our girl-friends (or boyfriends) accuse us of 'contradicting' ourselves too often. And chances are that the more talkative you are, the more you will hear this accusation.

Fundamentally put, it's like this: In this period, we make the bulk of our convictions. We voice them aloud to our close ones, (or anyone who would listen :p), and then, not more than a few weeks later, we make other convictions, exactly opposite to the ones made earlier.

Well, if you still are wondering what I am talking about, let me give a very general example:-

One day, you see a beggar on the road. Pathetic condition. In rags. And maybe you have been encountering such pitiable creatures too often in the past few days. And till now, you have seen lots of instances of the poor and destitute life these people live.

RESULT: Your heart brims with pity. You get down, and offer a coin or two. And on the way home, you can't stop feeling good about yourself.

AND: The moment you reach a telephone, you call you GF, and tell her all. Of course it's the first time you are discussing such a mature and deep subject (:p). Your GF is all 'mwuaahs' and 'awws'. “You have become so mature and understanding, baby!” And your chest, if it can, swells even more.

CUT TO FEW WEEKS LATER.

It has been a few times now that you came across stories where beggars masqueraded as pitiable, pathetic ones, and worked on the sympathy factor. You are a little older now, and hence you have gone a little 'practical' too. “How can I help every beggar that I see. I'm not a millionaire”, that's what you say to yourself sometimes.

And, as is most likely, you have started seeing YouTube a lot, and seen videos there in which 'differently-abled' people overcame their disabilities and were leading a full, even 'INSPIRATION-TO-OTHERS' lives. So when you see a beggar now, there's a question in your mind, “Does he really need help? Can he be faking? Why can't he try and do some work?”, more so when the person seems physically able. There may be other incidents too, which make you see the 'other' side of the picture.

Well, not always, but you may still have the same GF or BF. So maybe, you go home, and share this new 'more profound' and 'other-side-of-the-story' vichaar with her or him.

AND: You may make a new conviction!

Since the example here was a very general one, and it wouldn't affect your and your GF's life a lot, she may receive this new thought well. Or maybe she has forgotten the previous conviction that you made.

But, try something that may affect your and her life. Like a conviction on relationships. More particularly, a conviction on your own relationship. More often than not, such 'controversial' convictions come at the time when both of you are in the middle of a fight. Hence, it's like an icing on the cake: tadka lag jaata hai. :p

And then you have to listen to one of the most hurting comments that you may ever hear from your partner, : “You know what? You can't even stand firm on what you say. You contradict your own-self! You are such a looser!”

Ouch! That last bit really pinches, isn't it? You either deny the allegation, or keep the phone. In any case, you ask yourself later, “Did I really say that in the past?” Both conscious and sub-conscious minds refuse to accept. And many a times, one of the end result is that you restrain yourself from making or voicing your convictions.

Believe me, it's pretty common. Mahatma Gandhi once said, “One needs to be slow to form convictions, but once formed, they must be defended against the heaviest odds.” I'm paraphrasing, of course. Well, Gandhi Ji said this much later in his life, and I'm sure even he had to learn this the hard way: personal experience.

In my opinion, the mystery resolves down to this:
“You take any 'truth' about life, the exact opposite also holds good”. It's the situation, the backdrop, the circumstances which make certain things more acceptable at certain times. The much coveted and hyped quality of decision-making or choice-making (in words of Ms. Sheena Iyengar) comes into play here.

'So we avoid making too many convictions in the school and college life?'
ha ha ha ha . . .

No. Make as many as you can. Do the opposite. Leave the reason and logic to the after-college life.

You make them. And then, you break them. That's what I believe.

Who cares, anyways?

Your GF? Probably she won't be there a few months later. And most probably, she would be gone before your graduation finishes. :p

Friends? Like your GF, they are of the same age. And like your GF, they are in the middle of their own make-and-break process right now.

I feel that the more convictions you make right now, the more are the chances that some of them would survive towards the end of your graduation. Those of my age will understand this: we have all gone a 'little' permanent in our beliefs and in our way of doing things, haven't we?

But mind you, be just a 'little' permanent. Average life expectancy is up in India now, and we have a long time to spend on this earth. A lot of learning and experiences are still ahead. And yes, the rate of making-and-breaking convictions might slow down, but it never stops. You never know when you will finally see the “other side” of a story!

'So why call it a conviction, if it's not gonna stay anyway?'
I believe that everything has a purpose. Every thing, every relation, every thought, and every conviction. Convictions are not the end in themselves. They are just the means of determining the way we live our lives, and our life-styles. Some may serve a longer-purpose for us, while others may be just a 'temporary' or a 'transitory' one; whose purpose is to make us understand life better and make new, stronger convictions.

Personally, I like the people who are ready to take risks and make convictions in a hurry at this age. They are usually the 'passionate' ones. Of course they will have to be brave when they break their own theories later on. But these are the people who we 'really see' everyday.

Others who keep sitting, scared of making a belief just because it may not be a correct one, are the ones who are pushed behind the scenes at this age.

It's not for nothing that NIKE uses 'DO IT' as it's marketing punch-line. It's meant for our age – the youth. You don't take much time deciding whether you want to do a particular thing or not. Leave the long-term planning and analyses to the oldies and BALDies and bhuddas and bhuddies (No offence, please. They are doing a great job; I know that.)

All in all, don't worry much when your GF nags you about this aspect, “The self-contradicting looser”. Either she will change for the good (be more understanding, with the age), or you will change your GF (or BF). :p

KEEP MAKING CONVICTIONS. KEEP SHOUTING THEM ALOUD. AND BE SURE, YOU WILL BREAK A LOT OF THEM YOURSELVES.

Isn't that an irony? How can one make a conviction (definition: a fixed or firm belief) when he or she is sure that it's gonna change?

Ha ha ha ..

Life is beautiful. :-)